Motivation:
Camp Experiences
Learning Objectives:
Level 3
- Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
- Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
Level 4
- Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
- Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
Learning goals:
- To hook the reader in with an interesting beginning
- A variety of sentence starters
- A variety of sentence lengths
- Edit and rework
- Effective peer checking and feedback
Moment in time:
My heart was racing as I was pulled up 17m,I h ear people yelling let go and lean back.I feel the harness
pulling me back.In the distance the waterhole is standing still.I hear people screaming as they jump into
the freezing cold dirty algae invested waterhole.As they lower me down I feel a sense of achievement
and want to go again.As I run to the cone I feel a sudden weight and before I know it i'm swinging 17m up.
Back on the ground and am very proud,I think to myself how was I so scared at the start.
After trying that I wasn't going to be scared of trying all of the other activities.
Goal:I have used my goal of using different sentence structures, beginnings and lengths by using different starting word to a sentence and I have also used different lengths of sentences.
Teacher Comment:
Benjamin, I like the way you have tried to use the 'show, not tell' method to describe your experience. You have used a variety of sentence structures and attempted to organise your writing into paragraphs. Your next step is to add more detail to your writing to give the reader a clear picture in their mind.
pulling me back.In the distance the waterhole is standing still.I hear people screaming as they jump into
the freezing cold dirty algae invested waterhole.As they lower me down I feel a sense of achievement
and want to go again.As I run to the cone I feel a sudden weight and before I know it i'm swinging 17m up.
Back on the ground and am very proud,I think to myself how was I so scared at the start.
After trying that I wasn't going to be scared of trying all of the other activities.
Goal:I have used my goal of using different sentence structures, beginnings and lengths by using different starting word to a sentence and I have also used different lengths of sentences.
Teacher Comment:
Benjamin, I like the way you have tried to use the 'show, not tell' method to describe your experience. You have used a variety of sentence structures and attempted to organise your writing into paragraphs. Your next step is to add more detail to your writing to give the reader a clear picture in their mind.
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